ADRIFT

The journey I embarked on 7 months ago has wound its way through many a hill and vale both emotionally and literally, as I have traversed the highways and byways coast to coast. I have crept down curvy roads in a blanket of fog with only the fogline as my guide. Maneuvering hairpin-curves on the mountainside at night have kept me in full-alert, knowing a missed turn could be the end of me. The euphoria of the redwood forest fragrance in morning sunlight exudes warm memories in my soul. The disturbing sounds of nighttime mountain creatures capturing and consuming their smaller animal kingdom 'meals' outside my 'home on wheels' bring to mind a sleep-deprived night on a California mountain top. The majesty of a full moon on ocean waves and the sound of the surf mesmerizes me still, though I sit at this moment in time adrift in the uncertainty of when my journey will resume. As I rest and reflect during my mid-journey hiatus in snowy Minnesota, I contemplate the true weightiness of a giant-sized 'pause' - awaiting my return to a fully repaired RV and the open road.

This week marks 2 months of uncertainty after my road accident in South Carolina. It seems to me, that a resolution to Pedro's needed repairs has become an endless road of ruts and roadblocks. There have been other times in my life, where I have not known how to hope. It is a floundering place to be - striving for optimism, but preparing for yet more disappointments. Though the focus of my year on the road is blurry at this present moment, I am mindful of the blessings of loved ones who have embraced me, offering shelter, support, delightful conversations and times of laughter. I am, at present, enjoying the gift of welcoming spaces and warm hospitality. It is true - even in the unexpected there are important life lessons. There are grace moments to be treasured.

If you have had the good fortune of seeing the movie, "The Life of Pi", you have a good sense of the meaning of the word - 'adrift'. Survival, resourcefulness, courage, hope, focus, determination, faith - a few words that come to mind in defining Pi's experience adrift at sea. Surrender is a word that oft-times brings to mind negative connotations. Surrender = lose..... or, so some think. When there is no ability to control an outcome, I cautiously believe that surrender can equal 'gain'. Finding a firm footing amidst the shiftiness of uncertainty - my present challenge.

One fine week some 20 years past, I recall an adventure of 'drifting' - in the most positive sense of the word. As one of a sextet of seasoned and a few not-so-seasoned sailors, I was learning the 'ropes' -so to speak- of bareboat sailing in the beautiful waters of the Caribbean. The sights, the sounds, the smells of this excursion are forever embedded in my memory. As the wind carried us across the ocean waters i was not overly concerned with where our 'drifting' would take us. Our captain had our course fully charted and navigated it skillfully. I relished the moments of wind in my face and the hours of soaking in the sun's rays. My days were relaxing and joyful with little responsibility. You see, I was along for the ride. The planning and skills of sailing rested on the shoulders of another. Today I have a greater appreciation for the captain of our crew and the responsibility he bore in the completion of a successful journey. My current personal journey is so very different. I am the captain of this journey, at least in the earthly sense of things. As a storm on the high seas will change the course of a sailing adventure, so too, has the 'broken vessel' (my RV) changed the course of my road trip pilgrimage. Not until the call comes that my 'Pedro' is whole again, will I know how to rechart my course. I suspect more adventures will be mine again - hopefully sooner rather than later!

This much I know at this moment in time - I miss 'the road'. I miss the hum of the tires and the new sights at every turn in the road. I miss the sun coming up over the mountain or ocean. I miss the humor of funny roadside signage. i miss talking to myself and laughing to myself in the comfort of my mobile home. And yes, I long for renewed purpose in my giving and receiving with the dear ones I plan to visit along my journey. Be gone! - you evasive auto-parts missing in action. I want to be rolling down the roads of Georgia and Tennessee and westward once more!

The Minnesota sky on this winter morning hangs blank and gray above the leafless woods outside the window. The windowshield of my borrowed car is thick with crusted ice. 'Tis a good day to bring out the new art supplies purchased this week and collage the wooded scene in my mind onto the empty canvas. Drifting into the never-neverland of creativity - a delightful way to fill my days as I wait. Cloth, paper, scissors, paint....here come I!

　

Intothewind....

Naturegirl